Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Help: How Do I Accept Being My Own Stupid Self?

I'm looking for advice from those of you out there who, like me, have struggled their whole lives with accepting yourself, living in your own skin, and basically loving the life you've been given.

For the past few months, my ability to live in my own skin has become more and more difficult.  Literally,  I've broken out into itchy spots that remind me of the chicken pox, but have been diagnosed (by biopsy) as manifestations of a genetic disease, Darier's Disease, that is incurable and, frankly, annoying as hell.

I'm fairly sure that the trigger for me is a combo punch: stress (aka anxiety) and aging (aka hormones, bitches).  Since the trigger combo is inextricably related and unavoidable, I need to figure out how to reduce both stress and/or hormones.

I'm talking to a therapist (but that adds another stress, because I just got the frigging bill, whoooo doggies -- it's better to meet my friends for coffee and unload all my ridiculous anxieties on them than to pay a PhDed stranger to review the same information), working out 5-6 times a week (actually, the workouts have been a constant), crocheting and knitting a bunch of ill fitting hats and boring scarves, watching a buttload of comedies, and trying to settle down into vacation.  I'm also taking 1000 mg of vitamin C a day.

In the meantime, I've got an eyelid twitch, more and more itchy spots popping out daily, a new crick in my neck that shoots down into the left side of my lower back and makes sleeping through the night more challenging, and the sinking feeling that I'm never going to kick this problem in its head.

Because this problem is me.


1 comment:

coppersquirrel said...

poop! this sucks. Sorry to hear it Laurie.

I have pretty good luck managing my anxiety these days with a combo of Vitamin B & St. Johns Wart believe it or not.

As for the body-rebellion might look into a raw diet (or partially so) for a partner Jeffrey has had a lot of luck dealing with the physical manifestations of his own anxiety this way. (He actually likes to go to a raw detox center semi-regularly)

Good luck Chica!
megan w.